ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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