Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
