i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
