He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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