jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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