If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
