Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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