so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
