i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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