My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
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