The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
