yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think I am morally bankrupt
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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