My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
