dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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