thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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