so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
