escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
