I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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