office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
