Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
