Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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