Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
