How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I am naked and annoyed.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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