he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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