I think I died a long time ago.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
