He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
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Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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