just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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