Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
