I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
