Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
