It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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