does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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