I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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