literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
