awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
