why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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