This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
