im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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