oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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