You just made me feel so damn special
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
