She said her name was "party"
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
