oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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