The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
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I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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