so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
50% drunk capacity currently
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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