I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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