i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Your penis caused this!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
