I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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