How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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