who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
