Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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