i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
