Don't you send me to vm
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
