How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
