i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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