Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
