just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
