Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
