Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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