"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You are a genius and a whore.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
